Anxiously Engaged

Thank you to the choir. That was beautiful. Just what I needed. I'm very grateful to be here with you today.

Just a little bit about me: I am a convert. I joined the Church when I was 18 years old. My husband Chad likes to take credit for my conversion. At the time he was serving his mission in Connecticut, and his mission president encouraged the missionaries to pray every night for their future spouse. So even though we didn’t even know each other at the time, Chad insists it was because of his prayers that I chose to be baptized.
As a convert, my testimony has been hard fought and hard won. And honestly, it’s still a continuous process. Chad, on the other hand, has always had what we call a simple testimony. He just knows. He’s always known. It’s just that simple. He just knows it.

That contrast has taught me a lot about faith and confidence in the gospel. With that in mind, I’d like to start with a scripture.

In Doctrine and Covenants 58:27, it says,
“Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness.”

Many feel when reading this scripture a sense of purpose and motivation. They’re ready to go to work. If you look at the footnotes for “anxiously engaged,” they highlight qualities such as dedication, diligence, good works, being industrious, and zeal.

This is Chad. He hears the scripture and is ready to put on a suit and go knock on some doors.

But what if, when you read this verse, instead of feeling excited and motivated, you feel anxious, afraid, or overwhelmed? What if you sometimes wonder if you’re even worthy to engage in a good cause? Or you feel like you don’t fit the mold? Or you carry unanswered questions? What if sometimes you feel less like moving forward and more like running the other way?
This is me. I’ve felt anxious and overwhelmed. I’ve wrestled with questions I don’t have the answers to. I don’t feel like I fit the mold.

Maybe some of you feel the same way. If so, I want you to know you’re not alone. Those feelings are real. And I’m so grateful that you’re here. You’re still trying. You’re still showing up. And that matters. I know that being here sometimes takes faith—and I think your faith is beautiful.

Today I want to share five things we can do in those moments when faith feels hard, when discipleship feels uncomfortable, and when we feel stuck and overwhelmed.

First, we can focus on Christ.

One of my favorite examples from the scriptures of what it means to focus on Christ is Peter and Christ walking on water.

In Matthew 14, when the disciples saw the Savior walking on the sea, they were afraid. He told them not to be afraid. And in verses 28–30, we read:

“And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.
“And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.
“But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.”
And in verse 31, we know that Jesus immediately stretched out his hand and caught him.

Even Peter doubted. Even Peter was distracted. Even Peter was afraid. And even Peter needed to cry out, “Lord, save me.” His fear was causing him to sink, and it wasn’t until he reached out and cried, “Lord, save me,” that he was lifted back up. His safety did not come from his own ability, but from where his focus was. When his eyes were on Christ, he could walk on water. When they shifted to the storm, he began to sink.

We all have moments like that— when our storms feel bigger than our faith. But just like Peter, when we focus on Christ, He will reach out immediately and save us.

Focusing on Christ means more than just believing in Him. It means turning our hearts toward Him each day, choosing to grow closer to Him, and striving to look to Him in every thought.

President Nelson has promised:
“Our focus must be riveted on the Savior and His gospel. It is mentally rigorous to strive to look unto Him in every thought, but when we do, our doubts and fears flee.” (“Drawing the Power of Jesus Christ into Our Lives”, April 2017 General Conference)

I love that promise – as we focus on Christ, our doubts and fears will flee.

And when discipleship feels overwhelming, our Savior is where our peace and confidence are found.

Second, we can seek Him with intention.

The Book of Mormon gives us a powerful example of this in the story of Enos.

Enos had been taught by his father, but he wanted to know for himself. In Enos 1:4 we read:
“My soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.”

Enos didn’t wait for his testimony to just grow and develop over time.

He didn’t just casually say a prayer and hope to feel something. He wrestled in prayer. He sought the Lord with real intent, and in the process he came to know Him in a deeply personal way.

I grew up as a Southern Baptist in Utah. I’m not sure if this is still true, but back then that meant that I was raised anti-Mormon. At church on Sundays and at weekly youth activities, we were taught everything that was wrong with the Church. I thought I knew everything I needed to know about the Church. The first time I attended a sacrament meeting, I was there just so I could point out to my friends everything that was wrong in the meeting. But I didn’t find anything wrong. I found a group of people who loved the Lord and were sincerely trying to follow Him. That was a turning point for me. It opened my heart to the possibility that maybe what I had been taught was not true.

Soon after, I was invited to join a youth group activity to tour the grounds of the Salt Lake Temple.

Everyone was asked to come prepared by fasting. That day I decided to go, and I decided to fast. My testimony of temples and the restored Church was born that day. I felt the Spirit so strongly, and I knew that I was in a holy place. Heavenly Father knew I would need that strong witness later in my life to carry me through questions and struggles I would face. I wasn’t raised knowing about temples, and I don’t understand every detail about them. But I know with every part of me that temples are holy places.

If I hadn’t been invited to go, if I hadn’t gone to that youth activity, if I hadn’t fasted and been prepared to feel the Spirit, I may have missed that moment. And it wasn’t just me – it was a group of youth, all of us there together, prepared and seeking. That intentional seeking made all the difference.

Bishop L. Todd Budge of the Presiding Bishopric recently reminded us that even the Savior Himself modeled this kind of intentional seeking. He said:

“Even the Savior took time from His ministry to be still. The scriptures are replete with examples of the Lord retreating to a solitary place—a mountain, the wilderness, a desert place, or going ‘a little way off’ – to pray to the Father. If Jesus Christ sought quiet time to commune with God and to be strengthened by Him, it would be wise for us to do the same.”(“See Him with All Your Heart”, October 2024 General Conference)

I love that the Savior would go to the mountains or the wilderness to pray.

For me, being in nature is one of the ways I feel closest to God. The noise of the world fades, and I can hear Him more clearly. That doesn’t mean all of us need to go hiking to find God. But it does mean we can all create quiet, intentional moments—whether in our home, in the temple, on a mountain, or wherever we feel His Spirit best.

Seeking Him with intention doesn’t mean waiting for peace or revelation to just show up. It means spending time in the scriptures. It means sincere, honest prayer. It means choosing to be in places where He can reach us. And when we do, like Enos and like the Savior Himself, we will find the strength and confidence we need.

Third, we can embrace the discomfort.

Growth in the gospel isn’t always comfortable, and it isn’t supposed to be.

Sometimes the Lord stretches us through trials, and other times He asks us to do things that feel awkward or beyond our abilities. The scriptures give us countless examples of disciples who had to step into uncomfortable, stretching experiences. Some of my favorite examples:

Moses felt completely inadequate to lead Israel, telling the Lord he was “slow of speech.” Yet God promised to be with him.

Hannah poured out her soul in prayer for a child. Her deep sorrow stretched her, but as she continuously turned to the Lord, she found peace and eventually joy.

Esther risked her life to approach the king, not knowing if she would die, but trusting she had come to her position “for such a time as this.”

Jonah is a great example. When the Lord called him to preach in Nineveh, Jonah literally ran the other way. He was afraid and overwhelmed. And yet the Lord didn’t give up on him. Jonah’s story reminds us that even when we resist or feel like running, the Lord is patient and there is a place for us in His work.

Discipleship has always required courage and stretching.

Elder Larry R. Lawrence explained it this way:
“The journey of discipleship is not an easy one. It has been called the course of steady improvement. As we travel along that straight and narrow path, the Spirit continually challenges us to be better and to climb higher. The Holy Ghost makes an ideal traveling companion. If we are humble and teachable, He will take us by the hand and lead us home.” (What Lack I Yet?” October 2015 General Conference)

That phrase, “a course of steady improvement,” is important.

Growth is never easy—not for our bodies, not for our minds, and certainly not for our spirits. The Spirit stretches us not to break us, but to strengthen us, to make us more than we can become on our own.

So, if discipleship feels hard sometimes, that’s not a sign that you’re failing—it’s a sign you’re growing. When we embrace the discomfort, we allow the Lord to change us into who He knows we can become.

Fourth, we can step forward in faith.

I want to share with you all the greatest spiritual lesson I have learned.

As I prepared this, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful for all of us to be able to share our greatest spiritual lessons with each other?” This is mine.

Chad and I struggled with infertility for years as we tried to start our family. It was a heartbreaking process to go through. We prayed and prayed, and it was hard to understand why something that felt like such a righteous desire was out of reach for us. At the same time, it was painful to watch other couples grow their families so easily while we were still waiting.

At one point, our only options were adoption or costly and difficult medical procedures. Both options came with no guarantees. We prayed and asked Heavenly Father what to do next, but the answers didn’t come. It was frustrating to feel so uncertain and alone in that decision.

Finally, we decided to start the adoption process – it was hard to start the process when we hadn’t received a confirmation that it was the right thing to do. At our very first meeting, something happened that changed everything. We arrived and found that a dear friend was actually leading the meeting. He said something that I will never forget. He told us: “You’re not here to adopt a child, because there’s no way to know if or when that will happen. You’re here to prepare yourselves so that if there is a child meant to come to your family, you will be ready.”

That perspective changed everything for us. I learned that sometimes we won’t receive clear answers right away. Sometimes the answer is simply to keep moving forward, trusting that God will open the way when the time is right. And He did. Nine months after we submitted our adoption papers, our son Kellen was born. And just twenty months later, his brother Soren joined our family.

They are stinky teenagers now—we could not love them more, and we’re so grateful to be able to be their parents.

Looking back, I realize the Lord was guiding us all along – but He needed us to take those steps in faith before we could see His hand.

I want to recognize that some of you may still be in the middle of your own trial—still waiting for answers, still holding on to righteous desires that feel unfulfilled. I want you to know that I see you. And while I can’t tell you when or how your prayers will be answered, I can promise you from my own experience that He is aware of you. Sometimes the answer doesn’t come right away. But what we can do is keep moving forward in faith, preparing ourselves so that when the blessings do come—in the Lord’s timing—we are ready to receive them.

Sometimes when discipleship feels overwhelming, the temptation is to stand still—to freeze because we don’t know what to do next. But the Lord can’t guide us if we’re not moving.

Elder Uchtdorf teaches us:
“If we wait to act until all of our questions are answered, we severely limit the good we can accomplish, and we limit the power of our faith. Faith is beautiful because it persists even when blessings don’t come as hoped for. We can’t see the future. We don’t know all the answers. But we can trust Jesus Christ as we keep moving forward and upward, because He is our Savior and Redeemer.” (“Nourish the Roots, and the Branches Will Grow”, October 2024 General Conference)

Faith is beautiful!

Fear and doubt will always try to pull us back. But if we move forward—even if it’s just one small step—the Lord can guide us. And often, it’s in that moment after we’ve taken the step that we see His hand most clearly.

Finally, we can depend on one another.

Discipleship was never meant to be a solo journey.

Even the Savior asked His closest friends to be with Him in His hardest moment. In Gethsemane, He asked Peter, James, and John to stay with Him. If even the Savior needed the presence and support of His friends, surely it’s okay for us to depend on others too.

President Hinckley reminded us:
“It is a responsibility divinely laid upon each of us to bear one another’s burdens, to strengthen one another, to encourage one another, to lift one another, to look for the good in one another, and to emphasize that good.” (“The Lord Is at the Helm” [Brigham Young University fireside, Mar. 6, 1994], 7, speeches.byu.edu).

Depending on one another isn’t just about being willing to help. It’s also about being willing to be helped.

It means being open and honest about our needs and humble enough to let others walk beside us. If we stay silent, people around us may never know how to lift us.

So when discipleship feels overwhelming, don’t try to do it all on your own. Speak up, reach out, offer help, accept help, walk with others. That is how Christ designed His Church—as a place where we lift and care for one another the way He would care for us.

At the beginning, I shared the contrast between my husband Chad and me. Chad is the one who hears Doctrine and Covenants 58:27 and feels instantly motivated, ready to go and do. I’m the one who sometimes hears the same verse and feels anxious, overwhelmed, or unsure. Maybe some of you see yourself in one of those examples too.

But the truth is, both of us are disciples of Jesus Christ. Discipleship does not look the same for everyone. What matters is that we keep following Him.

Being anxiously engaged in a good cause will not look the same for each of us. Some are bold and confident, like Chad. Others are quieter, more hesitant, and like to hide in the kitchen, like me. And that’s okay. The Lord does not need all of us to serve in the same way—but He does invite us to serve in the ways that match our strengths and gifts. For some, that might look like boldly sharing the gospel or leading in callings. For others, it may be quiet service and support, offering kindness, listening to a friend, or lifting someone who feels unseen. All of it matters in the Lord’s work. All of it is part of the good cause.

My testimony to you today is that the Lord knows both the Chads and the me’s of the world. He loves both. He needs both. And with His help, there is a place for every one of us in His good cause.

Moroni taught:
“And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me.” (Moroni 7:33)

With faith in Christ, He will give us the power to face our fears, to keep moving forward, and to be part of His good cause. I know that as we walk with Him – and with each other – He will guide us every step of the way.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.